Yesterday I was going really strong. However, somewhere around the afternoon I had to begin fighting off the panic urges to eat, to eat anything and to eat it right away. So, on the way to an elementary school to pick up a few clients I stopped at walmart and picked up some celary and carrot sticks along with some 100 calorie snacks. I will not be getting the 100 calorie snacks again. Fighting off the urge to eat all six bags was worse than fighting my original urge to eat. I hate that.
Last night, when I got home things didn't get better. Adam proceeded to eat ice cream in front of me while I was cooking his dinner that I couldn't eat then told me he wasn't hungry. You don't tell a fat wife that you are eating ice cream in front of who happens to be on a diet and is cooking your delicious dinner that you are not hungry. I'm dramatic when it comes to me not being able to have food so needless to say we slept seperately and stopped talking. We made up this morning though so I feel a little better about that. Did I mention I have PMS? Because if that could possibly help explain my extreme behavior in this case I'll use it.
I did go to the gym last night. I seem to have gathered from all the weight loss shows that working out to intensity is better than just going with the flow. So, I gave that a whirl. My body was screaming and cussing at me and I stopped in enough time to not puke in front of the gym. Somehow, I think my gym would frown upon that.
I have no time to work out today but am making a commitment to work out at home tonight. Adam was actually shocked that I worked out at the gym. I was as well. It's not everyday that I go and do something as bold as following through on what I say I'm going to do!
I ate a healthy breakfast and have a healthy lunch packed. I guess I'm going to not eat after seven pm so that I won't be tempted to eat everything in site so I packed a big lunch to hold me through until tomorrow's breakfast. Work will pick up after lunch and there will be no time to squeeze dinner in before seven.
Why is that the first month of being healthy is so hard? I can't wait until I hit my stride.
You will get back into the hang of things soon enough. I can't buy the 100 calorie snack packs, because they make me want several of them. They aren't even allowed in the house.
ReplyDeleteSounds to me like you are being really hard n yourself and really strict. To some exstent we have to!
ReplyDeleteI still eat ice cream..I also still eat ice cream and even eat after seven and usually right before bed. If this is going to work for ME I have to do what I can do FOREVER..Can you do this FOREVER?? I am losing weigh with what I am doing. Don't be misserable.. Eat your dinner girly!! It's ok to have a little ice cream!
Did you get that I still eat ice cream...hahah
ReplyDeleteGood for you for going to the gym, that is a win, win situation. good luck.
ReplyDeleteGood on you for going to the gym; that is awesome! I haven't been to my gym in so long it's not even funny. Nevermind the fact that I also have a gym at my house but yep, haven't been down there in quite awhile either. Did I mention I also have a gym at my work that I haven't gone to in awhile. Yeah, I have no reason not to except that I'm a bum :P Soon, though. I swear!
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